Tustin Tiller Days

**Before proceeding to read, please first read my September 25th entry titled “Crying Feels Good!”

Okay, so before I mentioned a lot of stuff about crying and just letting it out. Well on Friday, I wanted to go to Tillers, which is an annual fair that’s held in Tustin. My mom said she’d take me and suddenly a whole string of excuses came out of her mouth and within minutes, I was crying in the back of the car. My cry fest started at maybe 4 and after crying and screaming at the top of my lungs and banging my sprained ankle on the floor and more screaming through my raspy throat and having tears stream out nonstop, I had cried for 2 hours straight. I had screamed “I hate you so much” countless times. And I had also screamed “I WANNA GO REALLY REALLY BADLY” a million times as well. I looked and sounded like a whining little girl, but honestly, if a little girl wanted a Barbie and didn’t get it, would they cry and scream for two hours straight? No.
Alright, well let me TELL you why I had cried so much. In May, all my friends and I decided that we wouldn’t get to see each other often, so we made plans that we were all going to Tillers to see each other. We made this plan 5 MONTHS AGO. And nobody understands. Nobody understands what it’s like to hang out with a group of friends for 3 years and suddenly not see them again. Nobody knows what that’s like for me. Everyone just expects me to shut up, put on a smile, and get over it. Well, this isn’t easy to get over and I refuse to let something so important just slip my mind. This was the ONLY weekend I would ever get to see them and suddenly my mom isn’t taking me. After 5 months of planning this and after months of not seeing some of my friends, how do you think that makes me feel? I cried more about the fact that I won’t get to see my friends than crying about not going to Tillers. I didn’t care if I didn’t go to Tillers, I just wanted to go because I knew that was the only way I would ever be able to see my friends again. In the city I used to live in. Across the street from where I used to live. Well after 2 hours, my mom said she’d take me if I ate dinner first. I didn’t want to, but at the point, I was willing to do anything for my friends. So I ate and got in the car and had my mom yell at me, but luckily I had my iPod, so I blasted that and listened to Leona Lewis instead of her.
After an agonizing 15 minute car ride, I saw. I saw everything. People walking on the streets, cars piled one right after another, the beautiful ferris wheel carrying people around and around in it’s repetitive circular motions. The light. The noise. The people. I was overjoyed. I didn’t even care that I didn’t get there at 4 like I was supposed to, at this point I was just excited to even BE in Tustin. I ran out my car and I don’t even remember if I said bye to my mom or not but honestly, I didn’t even care. I just cared about getting to my friends as soon as possible. I called Chelsea and she told me she was at the food area. I told her I just wanted to talk to her, but that I wasn’t going to be able to go to Tillers. She believed me. Then, I asked her which booth she was at and she told me that she was sitting down. She asked me why I was asking her so many questions and I told her that I was trying to look for her. I heard the phone go silent for a couple seconds and then I SAW HER and heard her say WHAT?! WHERE ARE YOU?! And then I said, you look really cute! The shirt you’re wearing is pink, right? She frantically looks around and then we saw each other. And then it was like I had never left Tustin in the first place. I knew that I would never have a better best friend than the ones I have now. Well then Zoya ran at me and gave me a big hug and I gave Katie a big hug and then I felt someone SLAM into my body. Hard. And it was Khadija! Gosh, it was seriously one of the best reunions ever. I love my friends. I couldn’t have been happier than I was right then and there. We walked around and saw SO many people, it was amazing! I hugged like everybody and seeing everybody I used to go to school with felt like such an amazing blessing.

So that was me crying for 2 hours straight and then getting to see my friends for 4 hours. It was amazing though :)
And right now, I’m trying to convince my mom to let me go to Tillers again today. It’s the last day that it’s open and it’s seriously one of the last opportunities for me to see my friends since they’re all going today. And if I’m not there, I’M SERIOUSLY GOING TO DIE! I already got upset this morning, haha.