Crying feels GOOD!

My goodness, it’s been AGES since I’ve blogged! School always gets in the way, but I still love blogging and I’ve missed it a lot! In case I never mentioned it, cause I don’t remember, we’ve moved into our new house and I guess it’s okay. My mom hasn’t started cooking anything yet, but I absolutely LOVE having my own room even though ironically, I’m blogging from Cindy’s room. Hahaha, we still haven’t quite separated entirely, so that’s good. I’ve made even MORE new friends, so that’s pretty cool. But I still think about all of my other friends all the time. It gets really depressing and lonely a lot of the times like it did today. All my friends were hanging out with each other and I really wanted to go to club rush, but nobody wanted to go with me. But then this one girl named Sam said she’d go with me but we just ended up going to her friends so I nothing done with club rush. And I just seriously wish that one of my old friends were still with me. Cause then I would have ONE person to be with me during lunch and go with me places and stuff like that.

Okay, so you know how I’ve mentioned a couple times that I cry really easily now a days? Well I watched UP today and I seriously like fell through all the cracks that I tried to seal up. I mean yea, it was a sad movie and I would have cried inevitably, but I didn’t think I would cry THAT much. Towards the end, I was bawling my eyes out [geez, how many times have I used that line throughout my whole blog?!]. So yea, crying so much to the point where I could barely see through my swollen eye lids. The tears just GUSHED out, they had no mercy for my face and just rained down. By the time the movie was over was the time I finally stopped crying. I quickly turned on the lights to see how I looked and it was awful. My face had red splotches all over and my eyes looked like they were half closed.
But to be honest, it makes me feel SO good when I cry cause it makes me feel like I’m not such a heartless, emotionless person after all! Hahah, but really. I kinda do love it when I cry because when the tears pour out, the pain pours out with it. I am so emotionally unstable that if something really sad or something makes me awfully angry, I’ll just get mad and then shove into my box of feelings. And then it will build up and more and more and it will fill every corner and crevice. And then something small will happen such as watching UP or reading a poem in Health class or even just discussing a certain topic in Health will make me boil over and then I will dump out everything. And then I’ll be crying and people will be like, why are you crying? And I’ll be like, I don’t know! Not really. But yea.
So yea, Iono, but I love it when I cry. I encourage myself to cry more often. And it’s not like I’m a complete boob who cries all the time, but I do cry more than I used to and for some reason, I just feel amazing when I cry. Even if I look the complete opposite once I’m finished. Hahaha
SHIZ, I hate when I sleep late! It’s so annoying! But it’s become such a habit that I won’t stop myself from doing whatever until it’s super late and then I will become tired and fall asleep. And then I’ll be dead in the morning. Oh god, I seriously do not want to deal with the rest of the school year like this. I did it all of 8th grade and for once, I’d like to sleep before the day ends. So my goal is to one day, sleep before 12am and it has to be a school night. My other goal is to set and alarm and actually wake up to it since I’m completely immune to the sound of alarms and ringtones and what not. LOL

**Please continue the rest of this blog entry on October 4th**