I just cried

Alright, so I just spent the past couple of minutes crying. Cause I’m on my period, which means that I’m extremely hormonal and super sensitive to tears. I’m so sick of all this yelling in the house, it seriously pisses me off. Someone yells at me to wake up. Then they yell at me cause I’m gonna be late for school when I actually have an hour to get there. Someone yells at me to eat food cause I didn’t eat lunch. Someone hits me in the head cause it’s supposed to be “funny” when really, it’s annoying as fuck. Someone yells at me to go do my homework when I can manage my own time and tell them to leave me alone. Someone tells me to go take a shower before I do my homework because its loud when I shower at night. And I know I sound like a complete bitch, but I do it on purpose. I don’t really care if it bothers them. They bother me, I bother them. It’s a one way circle. They make me eat dinner but I don’t want any food in my system and they just keep bagging me and hammering me about it. And I cannot get them to shut the fuck up. There are 6 adults in this house and 4 of them just absolutely LOVE to yell at me 24/7.

When we move back and my dad lives with us, I honestly don’t know how I’m going to get through any of that. Back in Tustin, it was me, my mom, and my sister in one room and I was completely okay with that cause it wasn’t like we were all in the room at the same time or anything. My dad came home once every 2 weeks, so does it make me a bad person that I wish he didn’t come home so often? I honestly think it would be better if my dad wasn’t home with us. He yells a LOT and I have quite a temper and my family’s not so great at controlling their tempers, so I don’t think it would be a good mix for us all to be under the same roof. I hate all the yelling and hammering and pressure to go do something. My dad tells me to do something and literally 3 seconds later, he yells. It’s so annoying.

When you cry too much, but you still have your contacts on, it hurts like shizzzzz. Like a lot. It actually kinda makes you feel super sleepy, so after that cry sesh, I just really feel like going to sleep.

Ugh, okay, I’m done with this blog. I don’t have much more to say, so I’m just gonna conclude and go finish my homework cause I’m actually kinda sick of sleeping every night at 1:30am. I think this is the shortest blog I’ve ever done! I’m planning on just having short and brief blogs more often so the updates are more constant. But on the other hand, I kinda like having my really long blogs every once in a while as well. I’m not sure which I should do. Eh, maybe I’ll just blog when I REALLY have something I’d like to get off my chest. Since I’m in a bad mood, I can’t blog about friends or guys or high school right now ]: But in my next blog, I plan on going into tremendous details about friends, guys, and school.

Oh and thanks to people who actually read this. It makes me feel like I actually have a purpose to write besides venting.

Love, Julie

PS. Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Make a difference and save someone’s life. <3>