God God God

Camp was over the weekend and it was super duper oober cold, but it was still pretty fun. Didn't run into too many ABGs, so I'm happy about that. For some reason, this camp was really inspiring to me. I mean it didn't make me want to go all hardcore Catholic, but it really made me think about who I was and why I believe in my faith and everything. It made me realize that God made me for who I am and I am all good and because he made me after himself. God doesn't make junk. We watched this video about how we are all God's original masterpieces. It was amazing. I could relate so well to that video and it made me cry tears of sadness and happiness. Sad, because I'm not as good of a person as I should be. Happy, because I finally got the answers from God that I was looking for.

You have a lot of anger. Some pride. Compare yourself to others instead of Me. You're lazy, but you pretend like you're really really busy. You have a problem with lust. You've been holding on to this for a long time. Are you ready for this?

"It hurts."

It hurts me more than it hurts you.

"I don't think you understand this pain."

Don't talk to me about pain, I know all about pain. I sent my son to die on the cross for paying for sin, but I also did it for another reason. To give you freedom. Do you know what insanity is? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again and expecting different results and there are things in your life that you've been doing that do not work in your life, but you go to these empty wells whenever you're hurting, whenever you're angry, whenever you're lonely and tired, but they do not work.

"Okay well look, I can't be good."

You can't be good? I made you good. Be good.

"Ughh"

What is it?

"You wouldn't understand.

I, God of all the universe wouldn't understand something one of my children wants to say. Try me.

"It's just, God, I let you down so many times."

No. You are never holding me up. I hold you up with my victorious righteous right hand and don't you forget that. In this relationship I hold you up.

"Okay. Chisel away. Just..just be prepared for what you're going to find in there. Cause I know who's inside there. Cause God, I get up every morning and I look at him in the mirror and it is this scared little kid who gets up everyday and tries to dress like an adult and act like and adult, but can't. So just be prepared for what you're gonna find in there."

You have listened to so many voices for far too long that aren't out of me. You think you're junk, don't you. You really really really think you're junk. Listen to me. I don't make junk. What does that say about me? How can I show you that my love for you has no boundaries?

"Dear God, I am turning everything over to you. I'm not going to hold onto anything anymore. Your word says that you will make me your masterpiece and use me to do great things. I don't see how that's possible, but I want that with all that I am. So please do whatever it takes to make me what you want. I love you God."

That's just some parts of it that I really liked. Here's the full video . It's seriously so touching and such an eye opener.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NRzltLYy9xk

Sorry this isn't much of a personal blog, but I felt the need to blog about this. Maybe I'll talk about boys and friends and school another day. But it's 1230am and I'm gonna head to bed. Goodnight, and God bless.